Why… WHY? I don’t give two shits, but at times like this for some reason I do feel like I am giving two shits… When I shouldn’t be. I should have put two and two together when it just started becoming straight hatred towards me. Someone who really cared would stay in touch, ask how i am, be nice and not already be with another girl a week later. Whaaatever floats your boat. At first I really wanted to put my best effort forth to maintain a civil friendship but now You are just a completely different person.

I can officially say I don’t give two shits anymore and it feels awesome. It has come to the point where I have grown hatred. I don’t need someone like that in my life whatsoever. Don’t have to deal with lies and bullshit anymore. The other night I hung out with people I haven’t seen in forever and connected with someone from my past. To that person- thank you for making me realize what I’ve been missing out on and that there is someone better out there

You can go fuck yourself. K, great.. Thanks.

Kind of at a loss for words as to what just happened. I’ve never seen someone say such hateful things about me when I really haven’t and didn’t do anything. I cared about that kid with all my heart and would never, EVER do anything to him. But now I am just hated and am being told to stay out of his life. I was actually getting my mind off of how much I actually still care about him tonight but then he comes out of nowhere and starts being so mean. I don’t even know anymore. You win.

By no means is this easy. I wish I would think before I speak. The only thing I want to do is fight for him because he means that much to me, and I don’t want to give up. He is honestly the only one that I could go to everything for. Everything that happened, I’d tell him. Even if I wasn’t even supposed to tell anyone. I knew from the day after I met him, he could potentially be such an important and special person in my life. All that goes through my head when I think about it, is that I wish I would have went about certain things completely different. Like, this really fucking sucks. I go from texting him everyday, to us not saying one word to each other. I mean, yeah he wants his own space now, so I’m giving it to him but I would be lying if I said it didn’t kill me not talking to him, and definitely not seeing him. He knows my happy, fun, loving side. I just wish he would think of that instead of thinking I’m constantly negative. I was so excited for all the upcoming events. concerts, summer, parties, just cuddling on the couch on lazy days, etc. The way he would hug me/hold me, his smile, the way he made me laugh, just everything he did.. was  my idea of the perfect guy. He is amazing and no one has ever made me feel this way before. As corny as this sounds, I am also so proud of him, and was also so excited for him when he told me about him going into the Navy after High School. I was beyond stoked thinking of me being that girl waiting for him at the airport, and being ready to just run and jump into his arms. It’s upsetting to think all of this, but I just wish i could have it all back. Giving his stuff back was pretty hard. I don’t want things to be over whatsoever. Like I said, all I want to do is continue fighting for him back, but I feel like I can’t do anything but give him what he wants. And what he wants if for it to be over. I miss you… I miss us.